Black Cats Matter Retro T shirt
Ugly, fat, and disabled here! All I’ve ever wanted in my entire life is for people to be able to look at me without making assumptions. It’ll never, ever happen. People are always going to look at me and assume I’m lazy, unhealthy, and whatever else people associate with fat bodies, bad skin, and not-quite-right, awkward facial expressions. It doesn’t matter that I have the medical conditions to logically explain all of these things. It doesn’t matter that I started starving myself at 10 years old and continued to do so for decades because an undiagnosed metabolic disorder made my body hold onto everything. It doesn’t matter that the same disorder covered me with pimples and unwanted hair in weird places starting at 11 years old and will presumably never let up. It doesn’t matter that I’m in constant pain from a collection of inflammatory, autoimmune, and neurological conditions because when I have to rest, people see a fat person being still and assume I’m lazy. It doesn’t matter that I have a pair of neurodevelopmental conditions that make me process sensory and social information differently, and which are debilitating in ways I’ll never be able to express with words. I’m just an awkward mess of a person on the Black Cats Matter Retro T shirt all anyone will ever see. Most won’t bother to even try to know me. When I die, people will say “Well what did you expect? That’s what happens when you’re lazy and you don’t take care of yourself,” and only one or two of them will ever know just how hard I had to work to do exactly that every single day, just to survive. Caring for this body that causes me nothing but pain is now a full-time job that I can never, ever take a vacation or retire from. I feel you, OP, and I’m sorry. The Black Cats Matter Retro T shirt dehumanization is heavy and it changes a person. I’d give anything to experience the Black Cats Matter Retro T shirt of being typical but I also know it would only hurt me because then I’d be able to compare my life directly.
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When I was a Black Cats Matter Retro T shirt, like middle school, I didn’t even have that girly of a username, just a star wars reference. But I liked being friendly and using “:)” a lot. On two seperate occasions, some creepy stuff went down: first some dude on league sending a link to “his abs”, second was a guild on a gacha game where some 30-something year old was regularly chatting with my (actually a girl) friend, and tried aggressively to get me to do so as well. Until they found out I was a dude, and immediately stopped. I slowly changed my vocabulary and habits and nothing so overt has happened in years, but lesser things have popped up as recently as a couple years ago, and nobody should have to change their personality to not got dick picks. One of the great and terrible things of the internet is that it’s actually really easy to get some perspective. Anonymity is a double edged sword. (sidenote: I do wish I had the cognizance to recognize the latter was a, like, “hey maybe get out” situation, rather than a Black Cats Matter Retro T shirt situation. Sadly, I, too, had the brain of a Black Cats Matter Retro T shirt, when I was a pre-teen.)
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