Cat Dad Shirts
At uni there was a group of four girls in my halls known as “The Cat Dad Shirts“. They were slim, conventionally attractive, feminine, confident and very bubbly and the men were obsessed with them. And then there was… me, a shy, average build and not very feminine woman, and I was invisible. Some men seemed actively disgusted that I had the nerve to even exist in the same sphere as these godesses, while the nicer men would be flirty and shy with The Angels and talk to me like I was just One Of The Lads, a non-threatening, sexless being. I did wonder if I should starve myself, start wearing dresses, feign more stereotypically feminine interests etc but I just felt so ugly that it all seemed hopeless and I was doomed to be The Cat Dad Shirts forever. Now I’m in my 40s and a bit more confident. I’ve learned to embrace my non-femininity and I feel more comfortable than I ever did feeling exposed in dresses and struggling to walk in heels. I enjoy my nerdy, “masculine” hobbies and thought the female colleagues who judged me for buying an Xbox were the ones missing out. And I have a wonderful partner who has never tried to change me… I still have no body confidence and struggle with self-esteem but it has got better. I see these incel types who think all women have to do to get laid is exist and they don’t realise that a lot of us women are invisible to them and struggle just as much as they do, we just tend to blame ourselves while they blame women. I wish they could also see that teenage insecurities do get better and let go of some of Cat Dad Shirts
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I actually did exactly this two years ago! I picked a Cat Dad Shirts that was a common woman’s name. I subscribed to all the same subreddits that I normally follow (regional and technology subreddits, mostly), and posted using exactly the same voice I normally use. I used it off and on during those two years at a level I would characterize as moderate to heavy. I was never asked if I was male or female, so I never volunteered that information. I found that I got much, much more karma. This account is in the 14-year club, and I am gaining comment karma so much faster in the Cat Dad Shirts. Post karma, too, although I’m not a big poster in either account. On the whole, I would say that I’m treated much better when people see a traditional female username. People are more willing to interact with me, reward my comments, and are less likely to argue with me — even on the extremely technical IT subreddits.
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