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At uni there was a group of four girls in my halls known as “The Easily Distracted By Books And Cats Shirt Book Shirt Reading Shirt“. They were slim, conventionally attractive, feminine, confident and very bubbly and the men were obsessed with them. And then there was… me, a shy, average build and not very feminine woman, and I was invisible. Some men seemed actively disgusted that I had the nerve to even exist in the same sphere as these godesses, while the nicer men would be flirty and shy with The Angels and talk to me like I was just One Of The Lads, a non-threatening, sexless being. I did wonder if I should starve myself, start wearing dresses, feign more stereotypically feminine interests etc but I just felt so ugly that it all seemed hopeless and I was doomed to be The Easily Distracted By Books And Cats Shirt Book Shirt Reading Shirt forever. Now I’m in my 40s and a bit more confident. I’ve learned to embrace my non-femininity and I feel more comfortable than I ever did feeling exposed in dresses and struggling to walk in heels. I enjoy my nerdy, “masculine” hobbies and thought the female colleagues who judged me for buying an Xbox were the ones missing out. And I have a wonderful partner who has never tried to change me… I still have no body confidence and struggle with self-esteem but it has got better. I see these incel types who think all women have to do to get laid is exist and they don’t realise that a lot of us women are invisible to them and struggle just as much as they do, we just tend to blame ourselves while they blame women. I wish they could also see that teenage insecurities do get better and let go of some of Easily Distracted By Books And Cats Shirt Book Shirt Reading Shirt
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President Ulysses S. Grant was married to Julia Dent who famously had crossed eyes. When he became president she was distressed that her appearance may be a hindrance to her role as First Lady and contemplated having surgery to correct it. Ulysses would hear none of it. “Dear Julia, I don’t want to have your eyes fooled with. They are all right as they are. They look just as they did the very first time I ever saw them – the same eyes I looked into when I fell in love with you – the same eyes that looked up into mine and told me that my love was returned.” And on another occasion.. “Did I not see you and fall in love with you with these same eyes? I like them just as they are; and now, remember, you are not to interfere with them. They are mine, and let me tell you, Mrs. Grant, you had better not make any experiments, as I might not like you half so well with any other eyes.” They were married for almost 40 years until Grant died at only 63 years old. Knowing he was dying Grant spent his last months frantically writing his memoirs so that Julia and their children would have an Easily Distracted By Books And Cats Shirt Book Shirt Reading Shirt
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